Don't Go To The Hardware Store Looking For Milk
One of my favorite analogies: Don't go to the hardware store looking for milk.
What does this mean? Everyone has their own unique way of seeing the world. As Maya Angelou once said "when someone shows you who they are, believe them." We could all save ourselves heartache and pain if we didn't expect someone to be anyone other than who they repeatedly have shown themselves to be.
Can people grow and change? Yes! But not always in the way you want them to or on your own terms. Self growth looks different for everyone, and not everyone will be able to meet whatever wants and needs you have.
My favorite tool for this concept is the enneagram. The enneagram dives into 9 core personalities and the motivations of different types of people. It is a great tool for understanding yourself, and others around you and how they may operate.
6-The loyal skepic
If you are interested in learning more about the enneagram and what your type may be, there are many resources available. One of my favorites is "the Road Back to You" by Suzanne Stabile as an introduction to the concept. It also can help to learn a little about the types and engage in conversation with someone who is familiar with them, and can help you clarify!